Dear Mr Numan

Re: Are Friends Electric?

I very much admire your artistic output Mr Numan, but I feel compelled to write regarding the central theme of the above composition.

Let us use a range of domestic appliances as an example of where I believe your misguidance may have originated. While a dishwasher (not a human one) may cleanse your cutlery and crockery effectively, an iron may “help” you appear presentable and boost your self-confidence in public, and a kettle may “assist” in your making of a hot cup of tea, it is important to note that these operations are born not from friendship, but circuitry and engineering. The items are merely performing the tasks for which they were designed and manufactured, and are not by these actions demonstrating any fondness or kinship towards the operator. I fully appreciate that, should you have misinterpreted the exercises of these machines as signs of affection, the disclosure of this information may be distressing for you.

You are also on record as stating that “in (your) car (you) feel safest of all” and appear to be under the impression that you are actually inside your vehicular “friend”. As a family man this is not a point which I intend to pursue further.

If, however, your enquiry is directed towards other human beings, please note that homo sapiens is a carbon-based life form operated primarily by a brain, heart and central nervous system, and unlike the above-mentioned appliances, is enabled with freewill. Although electrical activity does occur within the brain, the current is insufficient to power even the most rudimentary of everyday devices. In conclusion therefore, and with apologies for the convolution in arriving at same, in answer to your original question, friends are not “electric”.

I apologise for my rather negative tone Gary, and sympathise deeply for your “loss”. I trust that at this dark time you are able to call upon the support of your dedicated “Numanoids” and the “Tubeway Army”, whom you presumably command. Perhaps, with regard to your keen interest in light aircraft, the establishment of a “Tubeway Air Force” may take your mind off this matter.

Yours

Wilf Turnbull

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