Dear Aneka

Re: Japanese Boy

We regret that we have not been able to ascertain the whereabouts of said "Japanese Boy". While you are perhaps to be applauded for your initiative in launching your appeal through the pop charts, as opposed to a more conventional channel such as the Police Force, your omission to provide a photographic likeness, or indeed a name, has proved an insurmountable obstacle in our investigation.

Japan itself has a population of approximately 150 million and the Japanese diaspora is extensive, notably in the US, Canada and Brazil. Even allowing for the common assumption that a "boy" is a young man, probably under the age of 25, I think you will agree that our work is cut out.

Unfortunately the possibility must now be entertained that your romantic relationship has been unilaterally terminated, which appears a particularly likely scenario should your former suitor’s visa requirements already have been met. 

We wish you luck in your ongoing search.

Yours

Wilf Turnbull
and Derek Philpot (neighbour)

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