Dear Mr.Young

Re: Every Time You Go Away

I am sorry to have to write to you a second time Mr Young, but I was somewhat bemused by your synthetic sitar-based hit, which I heard on a regional radio station this morning.


My wife Olive and I have “been away” on several occasions, most recently to the Gower Peninsula in South Wales. On none of our trips have we taken any part of your person with us, or indeed have we felt this to be necessary or desirable. I assure you that we do not, for example, pop one of your ears, part of your pancreas, or even a few toenail clippings into a bag or pocket before we set off. We feel that perhaps you are confusing us with your barber, chiropodist or dermatologist.


In addition, our neighbours Derek and Jean Philpott saw you recently on the “Here And Now ‘80s Tour” in Bristol, and inform me that you appeared onstage as a whole person and performed most satisfactorily, at no point demonstrating any signs of bodily subtractions.


Therefore, I would appreciate a withdrawal of your allegation, perhaps in the lyrics of your next tuneful offering.


Yours

Wilf Turnbull

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