I am proud to relate, The Joboxers, that my wife Jean and I have corporate connections to the Dog's Trust. It was therefore with no little pride that we found ourselves in a position to help our Gala Bingo partners Nigel and Alicia Saxtonhouse in securing an adorable one-eyed terrier cross from the Newbury re-homing centre last month, who was apparently little more than ''skin and bone'' when admitted some weeks previously. On the return journey, as we entered the M3 sliproad, what should come on Absolute Radio but your ''feelgood hit'', which perfectly encapsulated the joyous scenario whereby we had ''Just Got Lucky''!
Slightly more perplexing, however, was your insistence on Bournemouth's Wave 105 Live this morning that should I be able to fulfill a list of near Herculean criteria, then I will be ''doing the Boxerbeat''.
Frankly, Sirs, I hope you will excuse me confiding that, were I actually able to accomplish the monumental achievements of, amongst others, ''just'' letting the crippled ones walk, the lazy ones work, the blind so they see, and the sad ones happy, I am more likely to establish an autocratic regime dedicated to the enrichment of others, rather than indulge in a pugalistic pounding prioritisation.
On a completely related note one wonders if the prodecure of ''letting the silent ones talk'' is reversible and can be applied to many of today's current politicians.
I am also confused by your declaration that I will be syncopationally sparring after shaking my knees and planting my foot, only to be slightly later instructed to keep my feet on the loose. I am afraid, gentlemen, that this ''Don't Add Up'', on the basis that their burial in soil is likely to restrict all freedom of movement.
All points considered, The Joboxers, I hope that you will not be offended by my reluctance to go to so much effort merely to simultaneously drum and drub, or observe that your chances of World Title contendership are considerably in excess of ''One In A Million'' should you restrict yourselves exclusively to accepting bouts with a Jordan, Josh, Joseph, and, especially on a psychological level, you find a Johnny friendly.
Reply from Dave Collard 13/1/2015
Dear Mr. Philpott
Thank you for your recent letter informing JoBoxers of your successful endeavour at the Dog’s Trust. An adorable one-eyed terrier was quite a find to be sure, although there is no mention of said terrier specifically being a