Dear Tears For Fears,


I was sorry to hear of your accident but am however pleased to inform you that nowadays if something happens and you are head over heels, especially if you never find out till you are head over heels (perhaps on account of an unseen jutting paving slab or unattended spills), it is common to engage many ''injury specialists'' (not to be confused with Iggy Pop or the singer from Then Jerico who keeps tripping himself up onstage) on a no win, no fee basis.

As regards your medical practitioner reveries, ''I Believe'' that whilst you may be merely dreaming that you are a doctor, many such firms engage qualified specialists able to differentiate between a strain and a fracture.

We sincerely hope that that this guidance will not escape your attention or be viewed as just wasting your time, and that a claim is made within working hours before ''Memories Fade'', Tears For Fears.

This is a valid opportunity for recompense my scared saline secreting friends; we implore not to throw it away




Derek and Dave Philpott



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