Dear “Prince”

 

Re: Raspberry Beret

  

I personally frequent such retail outlets as Scope, the RSPCA, Help the Aged and Oxfam on what may be considered a regular basis.

 

In your pop hit of the above title, you refer to a “raspberry beret, the kind you often see in a second hand store”. I fear that perhaps you are mistaken. I have never noticed such an item, or indeed any garment constructed from the wares of a greengrocer, such as a nectarine shirt, potato shoe, banana jacket or tangerine trouser. Indeed, the concept of any item of clothing tailored from a perishable foodstuff is fundamentally flawed, as of course unless frozen or refrigerated, the apparel would start to decay almost immediately. You state that “when it was warm she wouldn't wear much more”, clearly indicating the presence of heat, which would rapidly increase the cycle of said decomposition. This would render the item almost instantaneously useless and unfit for its intended purpose, to say nothing of the likely accompanying mess and unappealing odour. (It is also therefore scarcely able to exist for long enough to become second hand, unless the item changes hands rapidly).

 

If, however, such headgear was merely raspberry-coloured, or shaped to resemble said berry, I would recommend that you provide details in further renditions of this work, so as to avoid ambiguity and render correspondences of this nature unnecessary in the future.

  

Yours

Wilf Turnbull

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