Dear Mr. Difford
We have been going to the same shop for our apples, tangerines and somesuch for years but recently saw that a new competitor further down the High Street was offering slightly larger water melons at a cheaper price.
You can therefore only imagine my embarrassment upon leaving the rival establishment yesterday to bump straight into our original grocer.
One hears that you also suffered a similar predicament and can only hope that, to use today’s parlance, the ''cringe factor'' was not as great.
On an unrelated matter, one is a little perplexed with regard to your historical junket. Whenever we go on holiday we tend to either take a taxi or drop the Nissan Juke at Long Stay South, and collect it after clearing passport control and Nothing To Declare upon our return. Even were we to rent a vehicle when abroad, it is in our experience the norm to drop it off, normally via an allocated bay or forecourt, to Record or Hertz when the holday is complete.
We are therefore bamboozled that upon your own arrival back in the U.K., rather than being at the terminal, its baggage collection point and then the multi-storey or hard standing area, you are actually at the car park and then the airport and baggage carousel.
Furthermore, we feel the hinted derogatory implication of a foot without a sock to be ambiguous, especially for anyone when considering an excursion to the swimming baths (unless one has a varuca) a kickboxing class, or a fish pedicure.
Wishing you are well and hate to be untrue
D Philpott (of old and new)