Dear Mr. Casey from MC5


Re: Kick Out The Jams

 

I am not sure what the regulations are over on your side of the pond, Sir, but here in England we are subject to heavy fines or worse if we don't put our ''garbage'' out properly, with cardboard and plastic bottles having to go in one kind of wheelie bin, glass and tin cans in another, and so on.


You may well ''feel pretty good'' but must be assured of the correct method of jelly preservative scorched bread topping disposal so as not to fall foul of council recycling and ''trash'' collection agencies should you ever relocate to the U.K... Rather than being booted forcefully, the unwanted or past ''use by'' raspberry or blackcurrant spreads should be placed carefully in the appropriately coloured waste receptacle provided, so as also to avoid being shattered into shards likely to injure refuse operatives (as well as creating a smash that resounds and rebounds off the ceiling) and ''splashback'', rendering your shirt all wet.


Furthermore, we received a lovely email last year from a Ms. Kirsty Patrak from the Civic Centre, congratulating us on being one of the only households on our street seemingly capable of adhering to their requirements. Your protopunk observation that the girl's can't stand it when you do it right is therefore, at best, questionable.


I hope that you are not ''crazy now'', Mr. Casey, and you will agree that it is ''High Time'' that your fruit confit clearance methods ''Come Together'' with our own.

Yours

 

Derek Philpott

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