Dear Mr. Vee

Re: The Night Has A Thousand Eyes

The world's current population is estimated at approximately 6.7 billion, of which number an estimated 40 million (6%) are blind. Unfortunately there are no records to confirm how many animals are on the planet (excluding homosapiens and insects, the latter of which I will address in due course) , however independent sources place the count at somewhere in the region of 500 billion, of which we will assume that a similar percentage to humans are.visually challenged, bringing the figure down to 470 billion. Harvard based Pulitzer Prize winner Dr. E.O. Wilson states on the San Diego Natural History Museum website that there are nearly 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 (10 quintillion) Earth-residing insects, once again, reduced to 9.4 quintillion to allow for those that are bereft of sight. The amalgamation of the above data presents us with a total live optical organ quota of just over 9.66 quintillion, which I have arrived at by applying the following formula:-  

Homosapiens = 6.7 billion

Insects = 10 quintillion

Animals not following into either of the 2 above categories = 500 billion


Total = 10,000,000,000,506.7000,000

less 6% allowing for non-sighted entities

= 9,6000,000,000,476,298,000,0 or 9.600000000047629800 quintillion

There obviously exists the temptation to double this result to allow for each organism having being blessed with two eyes, however I am very reluctant to do so, given that:-

a) A significant proportion of the creatures used in the calculation may well not be nocturnal. This factor is integral, as we are focusing our argument specifically within the context of a period during which same are likely to be asleep.

b) The number of said entities (eg., historically, Sammy Davis Jr, Colombo, and, subject to confirmation, the maraca player in Dr. Hook, and Gabrielle) whose visual capabilities have been halved through injury or birth defects, is unknown.

Of course, exponents of The Big Bang Theory would be correct to posit that, if before said large discharge there were none, there must briefly have been a phase where they would only have been 1,000 eyes. However, as this variable has not been specifically addressed in your 'Billboard Smash', it is to be disregarded.

It is also important to note that night is an interval of time during which the sun is below the horizon due to the world revolving. It is a state (by which I do not mean a political movement governing a geographical area, or a mess, but a situation) perpetuated and instigated by gravitational and universal forces, nothing more, and is bereft of intellect or the ability to claim ownership. As such, it is unable to stake a claim upon any material or immaterial matter, including but not exclusive to opthalmic tissue. On all counts therefore I am aggrieved to inform you that your 'Easy Listening Standard' is based upon pure fallacy.

 

Yours

Derek Philpott

 

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