Dear Fiddler's Dram,

Even allowing for inflation and given from our research that you appear to originate from Whitstable and the surrounding areas, my wife and I find it difficult to comprehend how you were able to achieve your day trip to Bangor (a ten and a half hour 620 mile round trip, no less) have lunch on the way, a bottle of cider, chocolate ice cream, eels, a cup of tea each, the hire of a boat and a trip to the fun fair incorporating a ride on the ferris wheel all for under a pound ‘you know’. Leaving aside quite how you have managed all this energy-sapping frippery within such a limited time frame, and, even allowing for 1979 prices, under the circumstances we will require a full break down of costs and disbursements including receipts before your folk claim can be taken seriously, in order that we may then replicate this remarkably economical excursion, then duly smugly boast about our own savings on Trip Advisor

 

Yours

 

 

Derek Philpott

 

 

 

Tha knows nothing, Derek Philpot! Day Trip to Bangor? It were a folk song, tha daft beggar. That means a song sung by hippies in the 70’s about dead folk long gone what wore clogs and worked down t’mill and ate scraggins for breakfast and hoggins for tea and believed in fairies and suchlike. What’s scraggins? Well, I’ll tell thee. It’s a bannock made of flour and sour milk and a bit of herring if the boat’d come in, or just a scrape of jam if the boat’d been lost at sea off the coast of Llandudno with all hands on board.
And me and Elsie, we’d

 

 


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