Dear City Boy


I find it difficult to fathom (notwithstanding the fact that human auditory receptors are not equipped with an independent larynx) how any metropolitan juvenile could have advanced biologically to the state of his ''ears telling him that there's no reply''.


One is also in something of a dither pertaining to the bizarre behaviour of this young urban scamp's telephone.


As there are no pointers in your splendid 'tune' to you having used a national or international code or other lengthener to prefix the number so as for it not to be too short, and just to satisfy my own curio-city (boy), I decided to ring it myself just now. Sure enough, upon tapping in a very stunted 5-7-0-5, and after the shortest of pauses, the receiver’s earpiece returned not an unanswered ringing, but that long infuriating tone synonymous with the tapping in of an unobtainable and incorrect sequence.


Furthermore, although your suspicions pertaining to your partner, and a shady ''phone booth lover'' may well be founded, it is perhaps unreasonable to go crazy when there's no-one home. I often phone friends when they have nipped out to Gregg's but by no means take leave of my sanity as a result.


In conclusion, City Boy, an invitation to ''facetime'' on Yahoo Messenger or Skype will not only save one more dime and alleviate the dialling of truncated digits, but, if rejected, sadly confirm the shenanigans of a private number love affair.

 

Yours

 

 

Derek Philpott (and son)

 

Dear Derek and Son


I really think we should put this “talking ears” nonsense to bed, don’t you?  The ears relay aural data to my brain, which then processes the information, in effect “telling me there’s no reply”.  I truncated the whole business (tranceptors, synapses etc.) for the sake of brevity, simple as that.  However, I should say that the celebrated Spanish illusionist, El Pedantico insisted categorically that his ears could indeed talk, in three different languages to boot.  Having demonstrated their fluency

 

 

To see City Boy's full spectacular response, please support the Crowdfunding campaign now and pre-order your digital or hard-back copy of the Unbound/Penguin book ''Dear Mr. Pop Star''....and get your name in print in the back!! 

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Yours affectionately


A City Boy


P.S.  Would you mind giving me your address and telephone number?  When I’m finally out and about I’d love to get in touch, perhaps even pay you a visit?

 

 

 

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