Dear Boney M

Re: Rasputin

I wonder, are you by any chance related to “M”, who wrote and performed the excellent “Pop Music”? He claims that this musical genre is the ubiquitous topic of conversation in no less than four cities, and I see no reason not to concur with his view. Pop music is indeed a powerful medium, Boney M, which brings me to the point of this communication.

My neighbour Derek has a well-mannered and smart grandson named Matthew, who attends school. Recently, young Matthew’s history project has focused on the events leading to the Russian Revolution, a period which, as you are aware, features your eponymous hero rather prominently. He worked diligently to produce writing of a high academic standard, followed my advice that he become acquainted with your work, and was satisfied that an acceptable grade would be achieved. Imagine his shock when, on receipt of his marked project, he finds himself criticised for the use of “inappropriate source material”.

I cannot for a minute believe that your above composition is unreliable in any way, and assume that the “teacher” responsible for such comments (Mrs Hollis) is completely ignorant of your work. I therefore respectfully request that you contact Mrs Hollis in order to have Matthew’s grade positively adjusted.

Thank you in advance for your assistance in this matter.

Yours

Wilf Turnbull

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